Gome of the Week
Can anyone even pretend to care anymore? It's the same old garbage. Not many games on TV and a bunch of spoiled guys who whine too much. Thank God they fired Dunleavy. It was obviously his fault that Rasheed Wallace got ejected from almost as many games as he managed to finish.
And now they throw Ruben Patterson into the mix, a guy who hasn't played yet this season because he is being forced to sit out five games after entering a modified guilty plea in the charge that he sexually assaulted his family's nanny. Wow, can I have your autograph? It must be nice to be a famous athlete and not have to go to jail after taking advantage of someone who works with your children.
The only person who I could get behind on this team is Steve Kerr, and he doesn't even want to be here. Maybe I can catch one of their televised games, probably on a Tuesday afternoon, and probably against the Nuggets. Go Team! The Jailblazers of yesteryear have returned.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Cameltoe.org - Holy moly. That's right, kiddos, a site devoted exclusively to the toe.
You've got to see it to believe it. I guess it's a non-profit site too, judging from the .org part.
Wrench your pants up and check it out.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
The Crippled Masters (1979)
I really can't believe this even exists. Leave it to Biff Pocaroba to come up with a gem like this one. Hold on to your hats, its The Crippled Masters. Feeling uncomfortable? Me too.
"One warrior suspected of disloyalty has his arms severed. Another's legs are disfigured. Both are discarded and left to die, but their thirst for revenge is stronger than death."
Yes, another inspiring tale of overcoming adversity and living a healthy normal life. This is the kung fu version of midget porn.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
The Upper Crust - Let Them Eat Rock (1995)
I saw these guys open for the Supersuckers a while back and they are maybe the greatest band in the history of rock. Well, that's ovestating it a bit, but they are the best group I had ever seen in powder wigs.
They are led by a chap named Lord Bendover, and their hits include "Little Rickshaw Boy", "Friend of a Friend of the Working Class," and "Rock 'n' Roll Butler."
Boston's finest, like an 18th century AC/DC.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Cankle - An affliction where an individual's calf and ankle cease to remain separate from one another, thus forming a completely new, semi-bloated looking area where the ankle once was.
Origin - No idea
Usage - "Dude, did you see that chick? Pretty hot."
"Yeah, but dude, but did you get a look at those cankles? No thanks."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Words That Almost Rhyme With "Designer":
03. steak knife