Gome of the Week
Sammy Sosa got caught corking his bat and claimed it was an honest mistake.
Just one more reason to lose faith in professional athletics.
Who even has the time to care anymore?
Never thought I'd say this, but I miss Dale Murphy. That's how bad this is getting.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Disturbing Auctions - Someone hipped me to this a while ago and I forgot about it. Pretty dern lafftastic.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Blindfold: Acts of Obsession (1994)
do i really need to say anything about this one?
yes, shannen shows her boobs.
yes, hope from "days of our lives" co-stars.
that's all you need to know.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Vanilla Ice - Mind Blowin' (1994)
oh vanilla. that's right kiddies, this is vanilla's ill-fated follow up to "to the extreme." he grew dreads and raps about weed. a lot. he also calls out mc hammer and marky mark. vanilla choppin' heads, boy.
cdog and i use to rock this in high school just to be ironic. we were trendsetters.
my favorite lyric: "i need some herbs and spices so i can feel nices".
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
scheunter (schkoon-tur) - Used to describe pretty much anything, though this usually relates to small things.
Origin - sweet drunk talk.
Usage - "Dude, that chick you met last night was on the petite tip."
"Dude, totally. You see her backyard? It was bangin' like a Benzi."
"She was a trump tight little scheunter with a diamond turd cutter.
Dude, I wanted to bite that chick's ass."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Ways to Stay Cool During the Hot Summer Months:
10. Build a tent around your fridge, Simpsons style
09. Salad fork + chalkboard= guaranteed chills
08. Watch Trespass starring Ice-T and Ice Cube
07. Follow that with Cool As Ice starring Vanilla Ice
06. Sleep in the tub with the shower on cold, BTB style
05. Freeze a jockstrap, strap it on
04. Beat up neighborhood children, steal their slip 'n' slide
03. Borrow your friends air conditioned car, never come back
02. Fill motorcycle helmet with water, place in freezer, place on head after 6 hours
01. Watch Requiem for A Dream; guaranteed to bore you to death and put you out of your misery