Gome of the Week
I don't even have a real gripe here. I just find this endlessly fascinating.
Only in America, etc.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
BTTF Parts - Once you've got your Delorean, this will show you how to make it into a time machine.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
J.S.A. Joint Security Area (2000)
This was a great film about the guards that monitor the border between North and South Korea. Biff's main man Kang-ho Song plays the South Korean sergeant who is investigating the murder of North Korean soldiers along the border. What results is an effective murder mystery that centers on forbidden friendships and deep-rooted mistrust. It was super sweet. In a super sweet way.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Ray Parker Jr. - Woman Out of Control (1983)
From what I can tell, this is the LP that Ray put out before he got that sweet, sweet Ghostbusters deal. This record's not terrible. I mean, it's a shitty record, but for 1983 pop, it's fairly standard. Well, most of it is. When Ray kicks into "Invasion," a seven and a half minute masturbatory jam, you get treated to the worst 1999-era Prince rip-off in recorded history. Who you gonna- ah, nevermind.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
I was misdirectored! / You got Lommeled! - Used when one is the victim of misleading information on the sleeve of a rented/purchased VHS/DVD. For an applicable situation, check out Biff's movie review here.
Origin - Biff's movie review. The director in question's name was Uli Lommel. And EA came up with "misdirectored", which was too good to pass up. So we have two words that mean the same thing.
Usage - "Dude, my coug and I are in for a romantic evening tonight so we rented Hunt for the BTK Killer."
"Dude, you sure know how to romance a coug."
"I sure do. And the flick is from the director of Boogeyman, that movie I saw a few years back."
'Actually, it's by the director of the really old shitty one. Dude, you just got Lommeled!"
"I was misdirectored! My coug is going to be devastated."
This Week's Top Ten List
Biff's Top Ten Things I Heard While Substitute Teaching In Elementary
School Last Week:
10. Me: "Luis, what do you want to be for Halloween?" 2nd Grader: "A Chainsaw Massacre."
09. 1st Grader: "Mr. Bush! Josh peed his pants!" Then, later in the day, another 1st Grader: "Mr. Bush, Stephanie had an 'accident."
08. Me: "How does your regular teacher get everyone's attention?" 4th Grader: "He just screams."
07. 1st Grader: "My second dad used to drag my mom around by her hair."
06. Me: "So you are going to write to your parents, asking them to give you a later bedtime." About half the class of 2nd Graders: "What if you don't have a bedtime?"
05. Pre-Schooler: "My mom has a girlfriend." Me: "Really, what is her name?" Pre-Schooler: "Dad."
04. 2nd Grader: "That girl likes to eat her own blood."
03. 1st Grader: "Mr. Bush, I drew a picture of my dog Felony."
02. After he had thrown a chair and taken a swing at a little girl, 2nd Grader: "You're not the boss of me!"
01. Me: "Antonio, how come you get to leave school early?" 2nd grader: "My dad is getting out of, umm, umm, some place, I can't remember, some place early." Me: "Did he get off of work early?" 2nd Grader: "Oh no, he doesn't work. You know that place with the judge? He's getting out of there."
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