Gome of the Week
There are some really wishful thinkers on Craigslist. Like the person trying to sell this decade-old bookshelf system for 300 bucks. "2 tape-deck, can record from one to another or just play tapes." Wow, that is a good deal. Or, I could get this brand new for 89 dollars. Can you hold it for me? I have to sleep on it. That's what I would say if I wasn't being sarcastic.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Tom Cruise Scientology Recruiting Video - He's fucking batshit crazy, etc.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
The Promise (2005)
I loved the crap out of this flick. The special effects were crazy and the story was very original. It is a bizarre fairy tale/sci-fi/kung-fu type thing that moves very quickly. The opening battle scene alone, with the hero slave literally running circles around thousands of soldiers, is worth the rental price of admission alone. Did I mention the kung-fu? I did? Okay.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Samantha Sang - Emotion (1978)
I think I inadvertantly bought a small chunk of somebody's disco record collection. Apparently the title track from this record was a top ten hit for a week or two in 1978 and featured prominently in the Joan Collins film Stud, but I don't recognize it. This album was produced by Barry Gibb and he and Robin even wrote a couple tracks on it. And, if you listen close, you can hear their sweet, sweet harmonies butting in in the background. Oh, and I guess Destiny's Child did a cover of "Emotion" a few years back. Seems I missed that one.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
you're wrong about the beards - A sweet non sequitur to drive home your point in an argument.
Origin - A suggestion from EA, building off this.
Usage - "Dude, my coug and I are really looking forward to a big weekend. Think we might take in National Treasure again and then catch some dinner at Sonic."
"Dude, that sounds like a pretty weak time. You'd have a better night staying home and slapping some Stridex on your bacne."
"Eh, dude. Good film, good food, my slammin' coug. It's all coming together. There is no one, including you, who can drag me down."
"Bromaldahyde, you are wrong about the beards."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Ways To Make Sports Fun Again:
10. Divide leagues into "Juiced" and "Extremely Juiced"
09. Did somebody say pay-per-view racquetball with live executions for the losers?
08. NBA special: "Reggie Miller Returns To His Home Planet"
07. MLB: when the count reaches 3 balls, bring out the tee. And by tee, I mean midget
06. Bring back the XFL, but with no pads and "street rules"
05. Kickboxing, but you gotta do it Van Damme style, with the broken glass on your fists, sand in the eyes, shit like that
04. Fuck it, let some trannies hoop it up in the WNBA
03. Start a soccer league for third trimester pregnant ladies
02. Replace each fifth baseball with a white glass sphere filled with sulfuric acid
01. Instead of "Free Bat Night," try "Hit Terry Bradshaw With a Free Bat Night"
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