Gome of the Week
Will Smith's kid Jaden (shown here looking like a textbook dick-in-training) is gearing up to star in a remake of The Karate Kid.

Somebody get me a bodybag!










This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
The History of Mario Power-Ups - And some other fun stuff.





This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Madhouse (1990)

I bought this sometime in the last year, mostly because it was the only major motion picture prominently featuring Dennis Miller that I had never seen. And when I figured out that it had never been released on DVD, I became doubly intrigued.

Apparently it was a mid-day Comedy Central staple for a while, but I never caught it on the tube. So, I was happy when I finally found it at Everyday Music for a cool two bones. I'm also happy to report it was worth every penny.

It's by no means a great movie, but there is far worse shit that has warranted a DVD release (I mean really, have you ever seen Gummo?). The story's basic, but the dialogue is fairly funny. Dennis Miller's not in it much, which is fine, because he's not what purists refer to as a "strong actor."

Houseguests arrive, craziness ensues, and John Larroquette goes all kinds of buckwild. Also features a hot-era Kirstie Alley in all her smoky-voiced glory.







This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Godfrey Cambridge - Ready or Not...Here's Godfrey Cambridge (1964)

So, I have to admit I was a little hesitant when I grabbed this out of the 99 cent bin (I'm moving up!) and saw a quote on the back from Steve Allen referring to Cambridge as a "Negro humorist."

The track title "The Rent-A-Negro Plan" didn't do much to assuage the uncomfortable rumblings in my gut. But, it was a major label release, and in Mr. Allen's defense, the remainder of his blurb was quite complimentary.

And well it should be. This guy's hilarious, and about as hip as they come. I now feel like a rube for not knowing this dude was doing comedy this good and this "edgy" in the mid-60's. Ah, the awkward laughs from the audience are priceless. And he just feeds off it. Good stuff.

Another great thing I sometimes find on these old records is hip hop samples that I've been listening to for years and never knew the origin of. There's an exchange on this LP between Godfrey and and a dude planted in the audience that was used on Public Enemy's "Burn Hollywood Burn." So there you go.



This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Ian Phlegming - A sweet thing to demand to be called when you're sick with a cold. Ladies should feel free to use "Peggy Phlegming."

Origin - Mucous membranes, spy novels, sexy figure skaters.

Usage - "Oh, dude. My ex-coug was so enamored with my post-breakup head shave that she pounced on the penal colony and just had to get the 4-9-3-11."

"Dude, weak. You sound sniffly."

"Yeah, she was suffering from a noticeably drippy head cold at the time. Must have passed it to me during our open exchange of bodily fluids. Dude, just call me Ian Phlegming."

"Dude, you got it."


This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Things To Shout At Your Family During Thanksgiving:

10. "Aw, Ma, how can I stack that chedda if you won't let me go on a paypa chase?"
09. "You know what I'd really like in front of me? A heaping pile of dignity and a healthy dollop of self-respect!"
08. "No, you pass the half gallon jug of chablis, grandma!"
07. "I'll put pants on when I get some marshmallows on my yams, and no sooner!"
06. "Hey, who wants to get into an uncomfortably heated argument about college football with me, where I'll
refer to the team in the first-person plural "we," as if I'm actually doing something other than sitting on my fat ass?"
05. "God damn it! If that toddler wants to chew on the wishbone, I say we take our chances and let him go for it!"
04. "What do you mean there's no Crystal Pepsi?!"
03. "Alright, we've said grace. Now who wants to fight me for the giblets?"
02. "Don't worry Tina, we're saving all the dark meat for you. Hiyooo!"
01. "You think that turkey's got a gobbler, check this out!"


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