Gome of the Week
Is it just me, or does Rod Blagojevich look just like Scott Christian, the weekend newscaster from "The Simpsons"?




This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
David Lee Roth "Runnin' With the Devil" Soundboard - I live my life like there's no tomorrow...



This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Project: Kill (1976)

Long before that sweet, sweet Naked Gun money started rolling in, Leslie Nielsen (yeah, they misspelled his name on the front of this high quality Paragon release) needed a paycheck.

John Trevor (Nielsen) works for a secret government agency that trains men to become robotic killing machines. The only thing that keeps them from going out and killing everything all the time is a drug that, if administered daily, curbs those urges. Trevor's had enough, and he goes AWOL, but not before he punches out two armed guards from inside his car.

Since he's filled to the brim with government secrets and he's off his medication (he was once a recruit at the kill-bot factory himself), the manhunt is on. Some Asian gangsters want the secrets to his methods; his former partner wants to make sure he keeps his trap shut.

Trevor's on the run in the Phillipines, and to complicate matters, he's got a hankerin' for some murderin'. He hooks up with a nice Filipino lady, only to inadvertantly slap the shit out of her when she wakes him up from a nap.

This flick ended up being a lot like the one I featured last week. It was tough to sit through in parts, but the ending was so sweet it was almost worth it. And seeing a semi-young Leslie Nielsen in full-on open-collar medallion mode was an added bonus.

Check out the sweet ending here, especially the part that starts around 3:30.



This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Jack Pyle - Listen, Son...and Other Readings (196?)

If this looks like a creepy photo of a dude staring at a sleeping kid to you, get your mind out of the gutter. This is a photo of a creepy dad watching his son sleep.

Pyle has a voice like he sucks down a pack of unfilitered Chesterfields a day, and it doesn't help his non-perv case when he's whispering to his sleeping son in the title track on this one. He harps on, apologizing for clowning his kid in front of his friends, for berating him for not washing his face properly, and for screaming at him for not taking better care of his pants.

It's more disturbing than its heart-warming intentions, and when the tracks that follow turn to the subject of adult love ("I Want You," "A Woman's Question"), you start to wonder how this old codger can woo a woman, when he can barely resist beating his own son in front of his schoolyard chums. And when he recites "Ballad of the Lady in Hell," it just gets confusing. It's a fairly entertaining brand of confusion, though.




This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
maroon - A sweet way to mispronounce "moron."

Origin - I dunno...half-wits?

Usage - "Oh, dude. You know how I loves me some cougs, right?"

"Dude, you are a connoisseur of fine cougs everywhere."

"Dude, you have that so correct. More specifically, I like to wine 'em, dine 'em, and then if everything is going well, I will sixty-nine them."

"Dude, you are a grade-A maroon."


This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Signs You're Slowly Losing Your Mind:

10. You keep calling in sick to work to spend time arguing online about which is better: jam or jelly
09. You gave up on trying to differentiate between Christopher Meloni and Elias Koteas a long time ago
08. When you try to remember what you had for breakfast, you look down and realize you're not wearing pants
07. Upon losing your eyeglasses, you search for days, finally finding them lodged in your wife's skull
06. The bumper sticker on your car: "Just give me the Lithium and nobody gets hurt"
05. When someone compliments you on your shirt, you reply, "Thanks! I took it off that dead guy in my shed."
04. You're constantly worried the feds are going to bust down your door and confiscate your extensive collection of topless Bob Vila photos
03. You have absolutely no trouble believing it's not butter
02. You recently replaced your ill-fitting hairpiece with extra-rich chocolate pudding
01. You have no doubt that, when all is said and done, signing an online petition is the best way to make things happen in this topsy-turvy world of ours


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