Gome of the Week
So if Wyclef becomes president of Haiti, that means he'll have to stop making music and start flapping his gums in a different country, right?

He's got my vote!










This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
PDX Mugshots - Never has such a fine collection of buzzards been assembled all in one place.


This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
High Freakquency (1998)

When the first words that flash across the screen are "An Alan Smithee Film," you know you're in for a cinematic tour de force like no other. And with packaging of this quality and a videocassette dubbed in EP and labeled with store-bought stickers that look to have been fed through a dot matrix printer, you can be sure that money was an object. I heard that John Witherspoon's fee for doing movies is a ride to the set. Is that true?

It was a mere ten minutes into this slapped-together, Def Comedy Jam reject-filled flick when the boom mic made its first appearance, and when it did, it just hovered there at the top of the screen, bouncing a little bit, only disappearing once the scene ended. When it was gone, so was any chance of me laughing for the next 80 minutes. But I got some deep, hearty laughs out of that rogue boom, so I suppose not all was lost. Did I mention it was written by a guy with the last name Gomes? Of course it was.

As you can tell, this movie is about a radio station. Some people work there and some things happen, but I came up empty-handed when searching for an actual plot. But, there's a top-notch big booty contest (at which Melle Mel makes an appearance and confirms his love for "boo-tay"), and Adina Howard does a performance in a semi-sheer bodysuit, so that was something. And yes, that is Deon "Bud" Richmond in one of the starring roles. He plays Coffee Boy. Because he makes the coffee. Paul Mooney also shows up in this thing, as does the guy who played Trustus in CB4. It's a who's-who of comedic actors who were short on rent.

The movie also works in some tried-and-true 90's-hip-hop-comedy cliches, like "The Tree-Hugging White Girl," "The Asian Guy With the Heavy Accent Who Wants to Be Down But Ain't Nothin' But a Clown," the "Black Woman Whose Only Goal In Life is to Find a Man With Money Who Will Pay Her Rent," and the "Black Guy Who Wishes He Was a White Guy." Oh, and there's a good-ol'-fashioned East Coast vs. West Coast battle. Those crazy 90's. Women be shoppin'!

Lucky for you, I can't find a trailer for this thing. Oh hell naw!



This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Liberty Proudly Presents - Stereo ...the Visual Sound (1959)

If there's one thing I enjoy almost as much as old salesman instructional LPs, it's stereo demonstration records from the same era. We've always taken stereo sound for granted (unless you're like 70, I guess), but back when stereo sound was becoming a reality for the masses, record companies loved to show off the new technology.

This usually involves some dude going "I'm in your left ear. Now I'm in your right. I'm in the back of the room," etc. This one takes it a step further by featuring a ping-pong game, some people splashing around in a pool, and a jet engine revving up, down, and all around. Plus, Alvin and the Chipmunks even show up for about five seconds. Those crazy guys. I have now officially been "projected into the visual sensorium." Yes, you can see the sound. Don't ask me how it works.




This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
she hails from the Isle of Lesbos - A sweet way to introduce a lesbian.

Origin - Time to revisit your Greek mythology, you slackers.

Usage - "Oh, dude. I'd like to introduce you to my friend."

"Dude, let the introductions begin."

"Dude. Coming into the apartment right now, weighing in at 125 lbs, she hails from the Isle of Lesbos...this is Sheila."

"Dude, nice to meet you Sheila. Congrats on the lesbianism."


This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten People Who Can Pull Off Having A Neck Tattoo:

01. That dude who used to drum for Rancid


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