Gome of the Week
Listen, I usually hate celebrity flameouts as much as anyone, but if you're playing the too-cool role with this one, you're just being contrary for the sake of doing it.
And while I'm usually a fan of that, too, I can't authorize turning a blind eye to this one.
It's too good.
And he just joined Twitter. Way too good.
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Locked in a Vegas Hotel Room With a Phantom Flex - I'm no camera fanboy, but this is pretty badass.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Video Catnip: Entertainment for Cats (1989)
Longtime Sly readers may recall that about nine years ago (yikes) we featured a similarly-themed cat-porn video called Kitty Love. Just a bit of trivia for you there. Know your Sly history.
I don't remember much about that one (and I hope I still have it somewhere), but I do recall that it was more for kitten-obsessed humans than cats themselves. This video features no footage of actual cats. It's just wall-to-wall birds and squirrels, laced with some cat-a-clysmic puns. (Actual pun used in video. Though they style it CAT-A-CLYSMIC. Seriously.)
The back of the box promises "NO PAWS in the action," and they deliver. But before they do, there's a warning about how your cat will probably try to jump inside the TV while the tape is playing, so you should make sure that you are playing the video on a fully-enclosed TV, while also taking care to remove any breakables from around the television. Good advice. Then they throw in a "Not kitting" at the end of it. Come on!
That overzealous punnery almost ruined the "Mews and Feather Report" for me. Almost.
But here's the ridiculous part: One of our cats sat and watched this entire video with me. I had never seen him sit still for two minutes, let alone twenty-five. He was transfixed. Not kidding. He attempted to approach the TV at one point, but our dog stomped on him, so I don't know where that was going. But I assume somewhere like this. That's the actual video, btw. And here's a vid of two other cats watching it.
I'd say that's A-MEOW-ZING!
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Mitchell Froom - The Key of Cool (1984)
So, as you know, in my search for cheap vinyl oddities, I sometimes come across an album that I actually like. This is one of those.
Picked this thing up because of the cover and the title, and when I noticed that it was on a major label, I thought maybe it might not be too shitty. Turns out it's a synth-pop dark orchestra of weirdness, and I've listened to it four times over the past week.
Froom has gone on to be a mega-sought-after record producer, and apparently this is one of his only records as a solo musician. And seriously: it's pretty sweet. May have to convert it to digital myself because I'm getting the vibe it was never released on CD. Here's the title track. Read the comments in that vid to get part of the story behind this record. It's a weird one.
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
Sheening - A sweet way to describe a state of manic awesomeness.
Origin - Winning; this.
Usage - "Oh, dude. I'm just getting the job done right now. Taking life as it comes, and simply conquering the shit out of everything."
"Dude, sounds like you are winning in every conceivable way at this moment."
"Dude, I'm Sheening my ass off."
"Dude, you are Sheening out, hardcore."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Events In the First Ten Years of slyrecords.com, By Year:
10. 2001 - slyrecords.com is started with a stolen copy of Dreamweaver, an iMac DV, and the word "lobbin'"
09. 2002 - Design ambitions skyrocket when I quit my job to explore the newly-discovered "copy merged" feature in my stolen copy of Photoshop
08. 2003 - We officially run out of slang words, resort to filthy humor like "pulled that out of my ass like anal beads"
07. 2004 - Updates become almost exclusively alcohol-fueled group efforts; use of the word "taint" increases by 600%
06. 2005 - Site updates become sporadic; The Karate Kid somehow makes it into the "This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen" category, despite literally every person alive having seen it
05. 2006 - Site goes un-updated for over a year when I declare that "my computer is full" and decide to hide under a pile of coats instead of dealing with it
04. 2007 - Site is revived after my hatred for Sharon Stone reaches a boiling point that demands an outlet
03. 2008 - Site is once again hyper-relevant after "T-minus ten-minute asspiss situation" craze sweeps the nation
02. 2009 - "Cougar" is officially retired after dumbasses everywhere adopt it and ruin it. Dold regrets not trademarking it and cashing in
01. 2010 - Wednesday mornings become known as "Sly Day" across the world, as people spend the first four minutes of their work day reading the Weekly Waste and furthur delaying their inevitable march towards death. You're welcome.
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