Gome of the Week
You know those flashbacks that Liz Lemon has on 30 Rock where she's all awkward in the 80's?
This is one of those, right?
This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
Crazy Movie Posters from Africa - Yes they are.
This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
Road Construction Ahead (1995)
Ever wonder how roads are made? Yeah, me neither. But, your son is apparently infatuated with the process. And according to this video, he's down to see some hot footage of bulldozers, steamrollers, and dump trucks. Possibly even some rare clips of surveyers! Those dudes are really mapping shit out.
I don't remember being enamored by construction work when I was a kid, but I was also a bit of a sissy, so that's no big surprise. I definitely wouldn't have cared too much about the extensive hole-digging montage that takes place early on in this movie, though I may have enjoyed the funky (and creepily porn-like) soundtrack that backed it up.
What I would have reveled in, and what I presently (and secretly) reveled in, was the almost gratuitous rock-exploding scenes. They build it up by showing holes being bored in the rock, followed by fat dudes dumping loads of explosives in the holes. Then the guy actually gets out one of those cartoon plungers and just demolishes the entire side of a small mountain. And for funsies, after they show all the destruction, they wheel it back and show it in reverse. And little boys everywhere collapse on their own excitement.
The irony of all this, of course, is that this video stars a bunch of grown men who have clearly made serious vocational errors and look to be on the verge of suicide. But if they can be heroes to five-year-old boys everywhere, then manning a bulldozer while you're hungover as some buzzard shouts orders at you has got to be worth it. Right?
Put on your hardhat and check out a clip here.
This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
V/A - Gay & Straight Together (1980)
This LP currently holds the record for Most Money Paid for an Album That I Bought Exclusively to Feature in the Weekly Waste, but it was worth it. With songs like "If You Got Gayness" and "Lezzie Queer," this record is sure to provide me with hours - nay, years - of enjoyment.
I expected this to be a straight-up wussed-out folk-friendly acceptance fest, and while it's certainly that, they also work Jesus into the mix, which I have to say, I find quite vexing. Also vexing: the cover, which is just a picture of a boardwalk/seashore scene.
Best chorus lyric : "Surprise, I'm a lesbian!"
This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
kitty rocha - Litter-covered cat poo that dogs find delicious.
Origin - Canine-accessible cat boxes everywhere.
Usage - "Oh, dude. My dog is totally blowing mouth in the backyard right now."
"Dude, was it something he ate?"
"Dude, let's just put it this way: he ate a whole box of kitty rocha for dinner."
"Dude, he'll be paying for that all night."
This Week's Top Ten List
The Top Ten Things I'll Be Doing During Spring Break:
10. Ungodly amounts of heroin, injected urethrally, but that's a given
09. Taking the hardtop off my cherry red Isuzu Impulse, waiting for the chicks to strip down to their spandex shorts and sports bras and hop the eff in
08. I don't know, might grub down on a bowl of Wheaties or something
07. Been sitting on a grip of flourescent tubes - probably time to get into some light backyard wrestling
06. Finally auctioning off this goldmine of a kidney I've been saddled with for way too long
05. Finding out why I keep waking up in my neighbor's shed, covered in brake fluid
04. Frosting the tips of my coarse, lustrous back hair
03. Taking an online course in the fine art of speedo-weaving
02. Dying my beard pink to match my pubes
01. Putting on a nap clinic. Admission fee: you shutting the hell up
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