Gome of the Week
Michael Jackson's "Thriller" jacket may fetch as much as $400K when it goes up for auction later this month.

Or, you could just buy this replica for $26. If the creepy, photoshopped pic of era-inappropriate MJ on that site doesn't convince you, I don't know what will.

And yes, this is the best recent thing I could come up with with "400" in it.





This Week's Link That's Probably Not That Great
The 400 Worst Songs Ever - This list is awesome, and not just for the fact that these gents think "Why Don't We Do It in the Road?" is worse than "Disco Duck."



This Week's Movie You've Probably Never Seen
The 400 Blows (1959)

Okay, so I know that this movie isn't exactly unknown, but it certainly fits in with the theme for the week. Plus, if you ask your family at the upcoming 4th of July barbecue if they have ever seen it, odds are you will be met with some blank stares. Except for from your cool uncle. Thank god he's there, right?

Anyways, The 400 Blows. I first saw this flick in a film class at the tender age of 19 and found it horribly depressing. So why I rushed out and bought a VHS copy is beyond me. I guess I couldn't wait to make myself feel terrible. Ah, those awkward college days. All of that back story is neither here nor there.

Basically the story follows a young lad named Antoine as he deals with parents that don't like each other or him and teachers that tell him he's stupid. He progressively gets in more and more trouble until he finally runs away from home and begins a life of petty larceny. In the third act he is placed in a home for juvenile delinquents, a development that does not seem to phase him in the least. Other stuff happens but I don't want to ruin it, although the final scene for some odd reason lodged itself into my brain all those years ago and never left. Not unlike the headcrushing scene in The Toxic Avenger.

Film snobs will gush to you all about "French New Wave this" and "Truffaut's use of the camera that" but you don't really want to talk to those people. What I dig is the sense of realism this film brings. You get a real sense of what it was like for this disaffected kid to grow up in a poor part of France in the late 50's. The plot is almost incidental as one scene leads logically to the next. None of it feels forced or overacted. There's no big moment, no monologue. You have to appreciate that.

Interesting sidenote 1: The title is a poor translation of the French title that references a French saying about raising hell. Alas, there are no blows, let alone 400 of them. Interesting sidenote 2: Truffaut dug the lead actor so much that he used him in four more movies spanning 20 years, all of which chronicle the further exploits of Antoine. I haven't seen any of these but the idea is sweet to me. And the box set is on my Amazon list. Hint, hint.

Love, Biff.



This Week's Record You're Probably Not Listening To
Juvenile - 400 Degreez (1998)

The Cash Money crew was a source of constant hilarity for Biff and I a decade ago, because not only were they the most ridiculously ostentatious group of half-wits the world had ever seen, but they were also (possibly with the exception of Master P and his No Limit cronies) the most prolific.

This was just one of many releases from the label during this period, and one of the most popular, because it contains the unoffical drunk-girl anthem from the summer of 1998, "Back That Azz Up." It also contains three versions of "Ha," which are spread evenly throughout the album and get progressively worse.

I've been listening to this album for the past 40 minutes, and I'm pretty sure I've got my fill of Cash Money for this decade. Check back with me in the 2020's, when I'll revisit the cinematic masterpiece that is Baller Blockin'. Think I've still got my VHS copy around here somewhere...




This Week's Hip New Slang Word or Phrase
The 400 Bros - A sweet way to describe a swarm of bros. See also: dude patrol

Origin - The current overpopulation crisis in Brotown.

Usage - "Oh, dude. This place is just filled to the brim with sweet bros."

"Dude, don't look now, but things are about to get a whole lot broier."

"Dude, did The 400 Bros just walk into the room?"

"Indeed they did, dude. Never have I seen so many meticulously sculpted chinstraps."



This Week's Top Ten List

The Top Ten Things That Have Kept Us Going for 400 Weeks:

10. First it was booze, then it was booze with coffee in it; now it's just coffee - through a beer bong
09. Vidmark Entertainment's stellar catalog of top-quality, genre-redefining films
08. As technology grows, and information is more available than ever, we have ushered in a golden era of once fruitful careers, just waiting to be canceled
07. When you check your web traffic and you're getting an average of about 22 hits a day, you can't help but be inspired
06. The possibility that this all may one day be archived into one easy-to-use CD-ROM
05. The quest to find a slang term that is even 1/100th as brilliant as "lobbin'"
04. Remember when that professor included us in his book and one of the Amazon reviewers said he felt like a "stranger in a strange land" because he had never heard the phrase "maple bar" before? That was pretty sweet
03. I like having something to point to that proves that I have accomplished more than you ever will
02. My incredible knack for falling ass-backwards into free web hosting
01. The fact that they haven't booted us off Wikipedia yet


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